The Stuff that Dreams are Made Of

 

 

 

I haven't blogged in a while, but I had a dream last night that I can't get out of my head.  Literally CANNOT stop thinking about it.  I was going to post about it on Facebook and go on my way, but it would have been a super long post that would have annoyed everybody, so here I am. 

 

Those that are really close to me know that I've been going through some real...for lack of a nicer word...shit the past couple of months.  Not something that I'm going to go into here, but just one thing after another all piling up.  My stress level is maxed out.  So last night I had this dream and I've been trying to figure it out all day.  I have dreams a lot.  I remember them when I wake up, if they're really funny/significant/cool/scary I'll tell a few people, then I usually forget all about it.  The one from last night has been on my mind nonstop.  Now I'm no dream interpreter.  I don't even know if that's really a thing. And I'm definitely not someone that tries to ever make sense of my dreams. But I really think there is some reason I haven't been able to shake this one.  So let me tell you about it...

 

I was on a beach somewhere.  Not one that looked familiar at all, but on a beach.  I was so excited about being there, which is not surprising since sun, sand, and the ocean have always been my happy place.  Anyways, I run into the ocean and just started swimming.  And I swam and swam.  I'm talking I Forrest Gumped that ocean, only...I was swim-in' (in my best FG voice).  When I finally stopped I couldn't see land anywhere but I was happy.  Brace yourselves...it's about to get a little weird.  Next thing I know this whale and dolphin start swimming all around me.  One whale and one dolphin.  I wasn't a bit intimidated; I was in awe.  I just remember being so happy.  Then all of a sudden, completely out of nowhere, my happiness turned to panic.  Good things happening all around me and all I could think was, "What about sharks?"  "What if there's a shark right around me?"  At that point the beautiful, clear sky turned dark...like as dark as night.  The wind started blowing and I could tell a storm was coming.  More panic.  There was no land in sight and I had no idea from which direction I had come.  So what did I do?  I started swimming.  Fast.  And I swam and swam.  Again, think Forrest Gump, only in water.  I eventually made it to shore and ran up the sand, clearly in a panic, and there was a small kid right there that grabbed my arm and said, "Hey, don't worry.  You made it."  I feel like that would have really creeped me out in person, but it was oddly comforting in my dream.  At that point I went inside my condo (that I didn't know I had in the beginning of this dream) where my sister and brother-in-law were hanging out (weird).  By the time I had gotten inside there was no worry inside of me at all.  It was like nothing bad had happened...and I sat down to tell them the beautiful story of my ocean adventure with the whale and the dolphin. 

 



 

I know, totally weird, right?  But y'all, with it being on my mind all day all I could do was sit and try to figure out how it pertained to my life.  I summed that long dream up into just a few short, but super meaningful (to me) statements.  This is what I've taken from it:  Life is beautiful.  Life sucks.  I love it and I hate it.  It gives the good and it gives the bad.  And when it gives me the bad, I have to choose to stay focused, to push forward and push through.  And who knows, when I get back to safety...when I've made it...there just might be a beautiful story to share from it all.  Xoxo...

                                                                                                                                              Jess

 

            





Judge Away...It's Human Nature

Disclaimer:  This was written several months ago.  I went back and forth with whether or not I was going to post it and decided I would.  And I thought I did.  Turns out it's been hanging out in my drafts for a while.  Oops.  :/



So in a very casual conversation with a coworker the other day I made these statements:

"I don't do that.  I mean, I don't judge people that do.  I just don't do it."

 

His response: "Yes you do.  Judge people.  Everyone says they don't judge people and everyone does.  How did you come to the decision not to do it?  By judging."

 

Now this particular coworker, although one of my favorite people, is somebody that you just want to argue with.  Know what I mean?  Like he always has to be right so you just want to argue and hope you can prove him wrong.  Surely I'm not the only person like this.  Maybe I am.  Anyways, so I open my mouth for the argument of a lifetime...and then just pause.  I had nothing to say.  He was right.  He was absolutely right.  I simply said, "you're right," and closed my mouth.  (I might have rolled my eyes, too).  He just grinned...like I said, he REALLY likes being right...and continued with his point.  Look, dude, I already said you were right.  We can stop this conversation right here, thank you very much.

 

Now I don't even remember what "it" was that I insisted I didn't judge people for doing, but that little conversation kept me thinking for days.  Almost consumed me.  In fact, I wrote part of this blog post in my head in the shower.  (Some of my best thoughts come while I'm in the shower.)  So here it is:  Everyone judges.  It's partly human nature.  It's partly instilled in us as we're growing up.  If it weren't for being so judgmental, most of us would probably be dead by now.  We learn to judge between right and wrong.  Between safe and unsafe.  We judge all the time what is pleasing to our eyes and what is not.  (<--- That sounded way nicer than saying we judge between pretty and ugly.)  If we think drinking alcohol is wrong, we judge people that do it.  If we think smoking cigarettes is wrong, we judge people that do it.  If we think being gay is wrong, we judge people that are.  Hell, a lot of us think judging others is wrong...so we judge people for judging.  Do you see where I'm going?  "I'm judging the action, not the person."  Shut up.  "But the Bible says not to judge people."  Does it?  Now I know I don't have the right to condemn people for their wrongdoings, because I have plenty of my own.  And I believe that's what a lot of the verses of the Bible that talk about judgment are talking about.  We have the right to judge.  We DO NOT have the right to condemn others for what we judge to be wrong. 

 

So to those of you who, like me, claim "I don't judge people that do it," yes you do.  And it's ok.  There is a difference in not judging people for doing it and accepting them even though they do it.  Judge away.  It's human nature.